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Disclaimer!!! This is entirely my opinion and everyone is entitled to theirs😊.

With the recent lime light given to masculinity online ,what really is masculinity? Why are some people for and some against it ? With the changing times is it really beneficial to carry it into the future or should we repackage it to fit the modern day man and his modern day problems?

Masculinity.Well according to google masculinity is the quality of manliness that is the traits and habits that society considers to be appropriate for a man. Typical traits include strength ,courage,dominance and independence.

Like feminism masculinity is heavily flawed .I think both are extremes .Can’t we be neutral? Anyway that’s a topic for another day . One of the big issues with masculinity is that it views men as two dimensional beings that work the same way ,have the same experiences and perform the same functions. This view is however outdated and puts men in societal cages.

A good example would be in the clothing of men where the norm is a stereotypical suit clad,neat haired leather shoe wearing individual . Such a view suffocates the chance of a man being appreciated for pulling of a non conforming look.

A good example is the actor Ian Nene famously known as Almasi from Machachari he took everyone by surprise with his unique dress code .He’d wear dresses or skirts and when asked he boldly said that dressing was an art and that was his way of expression .

Toxic masculinity . Positive masculinity. Machismo. Fragile masculinity. What’s the meaning of these terms? Let’s have a look .

**Toxic masculinity – a very common phrase but very few know the meaning other than the fact it has the word toxic in it so there is no way it can be something good. Anyway these are norms that can be harmful to men ,women or society overall.

**Positive masculinity -the opposite of toxic masculinity. Forms of masculinity that are desirable .

**Machismo – It’s whereby a man tries to hide his feelings of inferiority by acting superior.

**Fragile masculinity – Anxiety felt by men who feel they are short of standards of being a man.

To read about the types of masculinity visit http://www.inside-man.co.uk/2014/07/03/seven-stages-types-masculinity/

How many times have we heard phrases like “real men don’t cry”,”crying is for the weak gender (female)” ,”real men are strong “,”real men endure pain” ,”men are naturally polygamous”. From a young age masculinity toxic or positive is instilled in them forcefully . It’s partly society’s fault . And what are the effects?

Men suffer in silence or inflict pain as a way to counter theirs . The idea that men should dominate women has led to domestic violence and murder. It’s so sad that people rarely talk about sexual harassment and the increasing suicide rate of men .

“Young men are thrown into a system that demands they compete and undervalues empathy. They are pressured to attain good grades and material success. And for a long time, traditional masculinity has been the only model taught to achieve that success. To compete. To dominate. To shut off their feelings if it helps them win. The media lionises wealth and power. The business world actively rewards ruthlessness. We talk about how wrong it is to exploit and bully others, but these behaviours are fully consistent with society’s vision of success. ” A paragraph from https://blog.usejournal.com/towards-a-positive-masculinity-c43df628f877

To know more about masculinity and what society expects from being a man check # MasculinitySaturday on twitter.

I wrote this piece with the help of the men i live with (my brothers 😂) and some research .Today’s blog is slightly lengthy but i hope you’ve picked a thing or two .

ADIOS💜💜💜💜

Since we’re at home how are you maintaining a positive attitude towards everything ? 

Watching news is so depressing nowadays. The headlines alone are scary ,police brutality,suicides ,murders and the never ending deaths due to Corona.

It’s entirely your duty to keep yourself positive despite all this. 

Have you ever heard of happy hormones and their uses in our bodies? As the word suggests they are hormones that make you happy and they include dopamine ,serotonin and endorphins among others.

Yes hunny you can control your mood since being happy is just a chemical reaction hence making it easy for you to dictate how you want your body to feel.

“How?” You ask.

Well ,

1. Eat spicy foods . 

Pilau is an example of such foods . Organic spices are preferred. Go for locally available products.  Just add some garlic or ginger to your meals and you’ll note the difference.

2. Have yourself some chocolate . Chocolate causes the release of endorphins in ones brain making them happy. I guess that’s why girls love chocolate ,it’s rather a mental thing rather than physical. Dark chocolate has serotonin which is an anti depressant hence helping in elevation of ones mood.

3. Be intimate. 

Lying next to someone you love reduces stress levels tremendously. Being intimate does the same.

4. Do some exercises  

Doing exercises does not necessarily have to be because of you being overweight or unfit. Do light exercises to lighten up your mood . If you’re not feeling upto the task add some workout music , works like a charm .

5. Laugh 

Make yourself happy with memes ,comedy shows or whatever works for you. Social media can help with that too . There are various handles on almost all social media platforms that only have funny clips and memes,why not make use of that.

6.Sniff some vanilla

Yeah i said that right. Depression and anxiety causes an inflammation of the brain hence releasing cytokines . Vanilla can act as an anti inflammatory hence causing relief. 

7. Listen to music. 

What’s your preferred genre? Have it on replay and increase the volume if you have to . Move with the rhythm ,sing along . Feeling better?

8. Dance 

 Works every time for me .Dance like no one is watching . No you don’t have to be perfect for you to do it. Live in the moment , assume nothing is bothering you . Let loose .

9. Perfect your hobby  

Are you bored ,got nothing to do? It’s time to work on your hobby .Crochet the piece you’ve always wanted to, practise on your filming skills , get your baking groove in practice ,sing at the top of your voice. 

10 . Change your environment.

Your mood is highly affected by your environment . Surround yourself with positivity . I know right now we don’t have as many options as before of going where we want , be creative . Watch the sunset, have an aerial view of your town ,go bird watching , have a walk.

Keep yourself sane . Keep yourself stress free. 

I can’t emphasize enough on how stress affects one’s health . So do whatever keeps your soul happy and doesn’t land you in trouble .

If you’re still clueless you can read my blog on the activities you can do to avoid being bored.

https://lizzkira.design.blog/2020/05/14/13-amazing-activities-to-do-while-in-quarantine%e2%9d%a4/

Hydrate and keep yourself happy .That should be your motto .

Lastly,

Train your mind to see the good in everything. Positivity is a choice. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts

ADIOS💜💜💜💜

My girls and I were having a discussion the other day. We were arguing about the first thing one notices about the opposite gender. My friend ,Mary , said she’ll first notice the cologne if he’s wearing any that is.

Another said she looks at the belt .Is it leather ? What brand it is and so on . Majority agreed that the shoes definitely make him more admirable .

Most people invest in good clothes and forget about their feet . I mean the feet are the last quarter of the body why would anyone pay attention to that?Hunny you need to change that mindset.

” But men’s shoes are so expensive , but two pairs of shoes are enough for me ,but my feet are big i have a problem finding my size ( boy child problems),but this but that but everything you think is an excuse of not investing in good shoes. ” You need to stop that and up your shoe game .

So how many pairs of shoes should one have? Must be they expensive ? Should i wear brands only ? What type of shoes attract the opposite gender?How do i maintain the quality of my shoes? What colours should i buy? What types of shoes are harmful to my health?

There is no limitation to the number of shoes you should have . If you want it and you have the money , get it . No they must not be expensive depending with your financial status and preference go for a pair you can afford . Most shoes are from different brands but that doesn’t mean you wear brands only . There are lots of shoes companies that imitate the huge brands making slight changes so be careful with that too. Trust me you don’t want to wear balencigaga or balencihaga instead of balenciaga or adidos, andindas, adindas instead of Adidas.

There isn’t a particular type of shoe that attracts a particular gender though research has it that most men prefer their women in heels . Again different people have different preferences. So don’t worry yourself with that . Be youuuu .

It is important that you ensure the shoe you buy is of the right size and quality . It would be a complete waste of money if you bought an expensive shoe only for you to find it’s smaller (there is always the option of donating though) or wear it for a week and it’s completely out of shape. Take your time . Fit it . Try walk in it. Lift your leg to figure out how light it is. Consider factors like where you would wear it and what you would wear it with. This details will prevent you from making shoe purchase mistakes. 

Two years ago , i bought a pair of pink block heels . I have no idea why I bought them in the first place but i did .I have never worn them anywhere.  They are still on my shoe rack because none of my friends will have them . Once i start decluttering they’ll be the first to go. 

For the women ,constant wearing of heels is harmful for your general health. Opt for wedged heels instead of stilettos since they offer much more stability. Let’s face it heels are more fancy ,I love them too. There is something about them that shouts elegance and sophistication. 

About maintaining shoe quality make sure they are clean and you give them the attention they need . While buying shoes the colour of the shoe is one of the consideration. Go for black,white brown or red if you don’t have many pairs.

To read more about types of shoes that are likely to be harmful to your health https://health.clevelandclinic.org/7-questions-youve-afraid-ask-stylish-shoes/

Lastly😊

~The world’s at your feet so make sure you’re wearing great shoes . ❤.

ADIOS💜💜💜💜💜

As much as i don’t want to sound like a broken record ,”Rona” has really affected our lives in one way or another. Who would have thought that the world would be as it is now ?

Believe you me if you are one of those following every detail about it you’ll lose your mind.

So what’s keeping you busy?

What’s keeping you sane in this difficult times? Especially since most countries are under lockdown till no one knows when.

Here are a few activities to do while in quarantine.

1.Take up yoga / exercise / meditation. Pick either of the three . If you can manage adapt all the three. Yeeey you can finally lose those 5 pounds you’ve always wanted to without running late for work .

2.Work on your hobby. What’s your hobby? Is it singing ,dancing ,cooking etc?

NB.We are talking about those that can be done indoors. We ( yes you and I) don’t want you traveling,mountain climbing,surfing etc.

3.Register for an online course

I know what you’re thinking 😂 or maybe not. But just so you know there are various free courses online .Do your research and register for one. There are short courses too ranging from 3-14 days.

4.Catch up on your favorite movies/series.

You can finally relax and watch your favorite shows. No more stressing how you are 5 seasons behind Keeping up with the Kardashians. You have all the time😊. So sit down ,make a list of every show you want to watch and start .For movie reviews check out : https://movie-shop.co.ke/corona-presses-pause-on-the-film-industry/

5.Social media detox.

Am i the only one who gets fed up with social media sometimes? Social media detox works magic .Yes i know it’s not really a drug but it can be quite addictive .Try a day or two or more without social media. Reflect on yourself .

6.Self care❤

Cook your favorite meal,dress up , enjoy that sumptuous meal you’ve prepared while sipping wine . Do what you got to do to make sure YOU is taken care of. Try a skin care routine or even take long showers. Showers that last say 2 to 4 hours.

“What will I be doing in the shower for 4 hours?” X asks.

7.Rearrange your space

Give your living room,bedroom,kitchen space a new look. Try rearrange the furniture and everything .Once done ,you’ll notice the different energy around.Its amazing.

8.Keep in touch

Keep in touch with your friends and family. Call them,text them,skype them,video call them,send them an email,send them a drone(saw this two friends sending letters using drones) whichever works for you do it .

9.Learn a new skill

There are lots of YouTube tutorials that can help you with that. Again pick one that involves you staying indoors . Be it sewing,cooking,painting,drawing,dancing ,you name it.

10. Get your staff in order

Staff is general for almost everything .Could be your emails, your closet, your house,your homework,your makeup brushes,anything random that needs to be in order .Do that😊.

11.Sleep

Sleeeeep hunny. Sleep like there is no tomorrow 😂. FYI Sleep has so many advantages including stregthening ones immune system,improving memory,balancing ones hormones,reducing stress and regulating emotions . You literally have no where else to go so sleep.

12.Carry out research.

What do you want to know more about?Astrology?Quantum physics?Plant based diets?How to run a business?The milky way?Do so now that you have the time.

13.New resolutions.

I can’t help but feel that we’re on a time out and the second half is going to be epic. I know most of our resolutions got messed up by this whole situation but you can have a redo. Think about whatever your goal is and write it down .Be it a vacation to bahamas , perfect beach body or whatever.

LASTLY💜💜 “be like Bob”

To my extrovert friends….hang in there ❤❤ it’ll be over soon .

ADIOS

Hi I’m Gothic you are…?

First impression

Sarcastic

Dark

Anime lover

Rock or metal fanatic

Fierce

Daring

A tattoos and piercings lover

…………..………………………………………………….

Let me start of with a quote from the famous Rebecca Schaffenberger describing Gothic people.

“We’re hard-core romantics, dreamy realists and cynical idealists. We find beauty in the macabre, while seeking fairness and tenderness in our daily lives. We love all things ancient, while being modern and liberal in our social outlook. We’re intelligent and creative without being cutthroat and competitive. We’re angry yet peaceful. We’re sure of ourselves but wary of strangers. We’re funny but bitter … but mostly very shy.”

So what does it mean to be Gothic? What’s the difference between Gothic,punk and emo? What does it take to be one ? Why the color black? Well hunny take a seat and make yourself comfortable.

Gothic people are those that search for fineness in things others consider dark and mysterious. Punks on the other hand are more aggressive and loud as compared to the goths. Emo are people who dress in a Gothic style and listen to emo music. Some people say that emo is short for emotional or emocore while others disagree. We’re yet to know for sure.

The three are viewed as overly sensitive and depressed . In public they appear weird and are often attacked especially for matters revolving around class prejudice,homophobia and misogyny.

About the colour black:There are lots of colours to choose from .So why black ? Some say it matches their feelings while others say its just a cool colour. Well black symbolizes death , the unknown and emptiness . The 3 are often displayed by the rock genre of music ,their art and literature too. This makes it more relatable to them.

Dressing like an emo ( whether you are a poser or not)

Black makeup that is including lipstick,eye pencil,eye liner and eye-shadow. You should make it as visible as you can .

Tight black jeans

Tight Tshirts

Emo bands.

Black fingernail polish.

A banged hairstyle.

NB: The above applies to both genders. It’s also important to note that emos,goths and punks are often offended once you copy their style of dressing. Dressing is part of their way of expression so find your own style.

Anyway wearing black doesn’t necessarily make you either of the three. Feel free to wear it .Its classy and simple when worn in some type of way .

As Kate Moss once said ,”Ultimately dressing is always about attitude ,feeling comfortable and confidence .”

Happy mother’s day 🖤. They say that mothers are like glue they hold the family together even when you can’t see them. Well today we celebrate them for everything they have done .

SALUTE🖤 and ADIOS💜

One minute of history class😂

This trend was reinvented in the late 90s and early 20s.

FIRST IMPRESSION

Carefree

Youthful

Wild

Stylish

Vibrant

…………………………………………………………

I remember back in the day when i was in high school ,the crop top trend was the new chic. I didn’t know much about fashion and style so i bought any crop top that i got .( If i had money that is). As long as i wasn’t left behind fashion wise i was okay😂. (Teenagers 🤷🏽) .Too bad i ended up discarding most of them because i didn’t know how to pair them with outfits .

Anyway years later and i still find myself intrigued by crop tops, especially the stripped ones ,long sleeved ones,floral ones, plain ones ,bra tops,ruffled bandeaus and corsets.

Oh you didn’t know there are types? There are more than a hundred types. For a start you could read about this 62 types 😋. https://www.topofstyle.com/blog/women/crop-top-style-types/

So we’ve known about the types . How do we style them? .Well pairing them with high waisted pants works for me .It’s effortless , chic and modest .

They can be paired with biker shorts too but for a more lady like look pair your crop top with high waisted skirts; bandage or skater skirts your pick. Again don’t let me limit you .

If you feel uncomfortable wear a kimono ,blazer or jacket on top . Don’t be afraid to show some skin though. You also need not to expose your whole stomach .

Take in consideration where you’re going and the weather( you could carry something warm incase the weather changes. We don’t want you freezing ) before you wear a crop top. They are mostly worn during summer but you can layer them during winter.

NB :The crop top trend isn’t for everyone. It’s not about body size ,it’s more of ones preference really . I’ve seen plus size women looking drop dead gorgeous in crop tops. What’s your excuse?

Before i forget,

The crop top trend was worn by most celebrities at the Met Gala 2014. Here is an article .

https://www.vogue.com/article/crop-top-trend-at-the-met-gala-2014

For more ways on how to wear a crop top visit https://www.potentash.com/2016/01/29/the-crop-top-how-to-wear-it/

ADIOS💜💜💜💜

Baggy. Mom. Jeans.

First impression

Stylish

Artistic

Bold

Confident

Wierd

………………………………………………………………

So what’s the first thing that would come in mind if you met me or anyone else wearing this? (You can answer this on the comment section below😊)

What I’d think? Hmm let’s see . She looks kinda weird to me .I mean it’s not an outfit I’m used to seeing on a daily basis so she must be one free spirited soul.

I’d also be curious about where she’s going dressed like that. I bet she’s not going to work unless she has some artistic work.

Unrelated to fashion I wouldn’t want to cross her . She looks stern😂( see how much you can guess about a person just by what she’s wearing?).Anyway…

It’s too bad that society has this measures of what is “normal ” and what is not and going outside this measures raises eyebrows.

In this case…this outfit isn’t normal. It’s an outfit that requires more . If you’re one that doesn’t feel comfortable being the centre of attraction hunny do notttttt because everything about this outfit screams , LOOK AT ME.

Remember the blog , CLASSY BLAZER OUTFIT ? Well this was the baggy mom jeans i was talking about . I chose this specific shirt because of it’s vintage vibe and we all know i love me a vintage vibe😍. Combined this outfit is timeless.

I’m not one that goes with trends a lot but I’m glad i embraced the baggy mom jeans outfit idea. It’s not limiting at all .It even gives space in case you gain a few pounds 😊.

We’ll soon talk about different ways of styling the baggy mom jeans .

ADIOS💜💜💜💜💜

Standing at the door i couldn’t help but wonder just how different it’d have been if i was pursuing a different career. A career that did not involve guns ,intense workouts and most importantly time away from my family .

My baby was only three years old when i left . Sure we’d skype all the time but it wasn’t the same . It was even harder when my husband went back to work .He worked in the navy.

Today was my baby’s birthday .I had faked a fracture so that i could come and see them.

It was kinda a surprise visit so i wasn’t expecting any surprise cakes or balloons. I peeped through the window and noticed my husband still sitted at his favorite chair watching hockey. He had told me earlier that he had gotten a two year leave …..

First impression

Fierce

Brave

Committed

Patriotic

Disciplined

…………………………………………………………….

No my mother, auntie, sister doesn’t serve in the army. So i (and many others) wouldn’t really know first hand how it feels . On a scale of 1-10 ,i’d probably say 11 or 12 though. It takes trust, hope ,support and more to endure .

I was thinking about this earlier this week and decided to write about it.

What’s the first thing that comes in mind when you’re shown a military family?

First guess you’d bet the father is the one in the military .Right?No i didn’t say that’s wrong . Statistically speaking there are more men in the army as compared to women . That’s just how it is .

So to me the ones that genuinely choose this as their career,they are the real queens . They are special in their own way . Their utter bravery is remarkable .

Note to women in combat boots

Thank you and well done .Thank you for your courage,determination and selflessness. Well done for balancing everything ,your family and demanding career all at once . I know it’s not easy .

One more thing 💜,as much as your country is counting on you , your family needs you more. So be safe out there.

……………………………………………………………

This blog was specifically for the queens so I’ll talk about styling carmo pants in another one .

ADIOS💜💜💜💜

Meet the 1950s

The golden age of television

The decade that Cristobal balenciaga opened his 1st couture .

The decade that saw reestablishment of coco channel.

The decade that Elvis Presley became the leading figure of rock and roll.

The decade of pencil ,circle and poodle skirts .

The decade of Peter pan collar blouses.

The decade of kitten heels and saddle shoes.

First impression

Stylish

Reserved

Fashion sensitive

………………………………………………………………

Why 1950s???

The 1950s are very significant in the fashion industry. It was during this period that the world was recovering from world war 2 hence major clothing brands were launched.

Most of the fashion trends cropping back are the ones that were worn back in the 1950’s.

Vintage,old school,old antique,ancient,oldish,fossilized,neanderthal,classic,outdated whatever you want to call it is the current cool. From flairing pants to corset tops and oversized shirts.

They are decent,comfortable and stylish.

You can never go wrong with vintage no matter the occasion (with the right combination ofcourse😂)

That aside for my vintage look i went for checked trousers ,white block shoes ,blue blouse ,black hat and a brown belt. These are items that can be easily accessed. I wasn’t going for anything fancy . I wanted a simple but stylish look and i think i got it.

Hang around for more vintage looks☺💜

ADIOS💜💜💜💜

Being there with my friends and family was priceless. I don’t even know the last time i was that excited. The room was filled to capacity and i could not recognize most of the people present.

“Cheers Lina and congratulations.”said a familiar voice .I turned behind and our eyes locked . It was Ruth. The Ruth that had given me a really hard time at work for the last two years. So no we weren’t friends .

I totally understood what she was doing though . I had been promoted which meant i was her boss in a way. How the tables had turned .

First impression

Classy

Stylish

Decent

Extra

………………………………………………………………

Do you own a blazer? If you do how do you style it ,what colours and prints do you prefer? If you don’t what’s your opinion on blazers ?

Personally i love blazers. Yes they can be costly at times but they are worth every penny . As for colours you can rarely go wrong with white ,black ,red and checked(I’m yet to own one of this) .Pair that with plain pants ,dresses,shorts or skirts . Whichever you prefer☺( don’t let me limit you) depending with the vibe you want to give casual or official.

So i paired my blazer with baggy mom jeans (They are biiiiig😂 . You’ll see just how big they are on one of the blogs ), the heels socks combination and a white sling bag.

PS ; Of all trends I’m definitely keeping the socks and heels combo🙂.

Stay tuned for more blazer outfit ideas ❤🥀

See you on Sunday

ADIOS💜💜💜💜